


so close, no matter how far

by leatherstar



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars, Actor RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Online Friendship, also english is not my mothertongue so please be kind, also jared lives in london, it would have been too much work to have one in dublin and the other in the usa, well colin goes to high school and jared is older
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2015-04-12
Packaged: 2018-03-22 12:34:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3729109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leatherstar/pseuds/leatherstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Jared wants so much to hug him, it's ridiculous. </i><br/>Dublin and London aren't that far, but it's been four years and neither of them still has managed to collect enough money to go see the other. Distance sucks.</p><p> </p><p>or, a long-distance friendship au.</p>
            </blockquote>





	so close, no matter how far

**Author's Note:**

> To my very own internet friend, who's 23 today!!!!  
> Happy birthday, Vav. I'm not good at presents, so I've decided to do the only thing I'm sure you'll love -write you something about these two, along the lines of our own friendship.  
> I love you, my darling.

Jared takes a deep breath and logs in. He finds Colin's contact and presses the call button, waiting for his friend to accept, which he does almost immediately.

It's a miracle, really, what Colin's face is able to do to his mood.

“ Hi,” his friend says, waving a bit for good measure. He looks good – but then again, when doesn't he. His brown hair is falling gently to his forehead tonight, smile put in place; he's wearing a polo, green and white, and Jared snorts internally, because he's _such_ a sport boy. Not at all like himself, who's currently wearing a purple sweather that's too big on him and makes his frame look smaller. He knows it looks good on him. He wishes to know whether Colin thinks the same.

“And how is my favourite football player doing?” he asks instead of greeting back, and Colin's grin becomes so wide it almost splits his face in two.

“I scored today, Jay! We won!” 

And Jared smiles back, because, well. He doesn't care at all for sports, certainly never showed up at any of his school's matches, but Colin's happiness is infectious, and he feels excited, too. “You did? Col, that's great! I'm so happy for you.”

His friend keeps smiling from behind the screen, and they chat about the match a bit; then he's asking, “What about you? Still no bassist for your band?”

Jared sighs and rest his head on the palm of a hand. “It's a nightmare. There's no one fit for what we want to do with our music. Tomo's good, he can keep playing bass until we find someone else, but he's a guitarist and besides, we need to have another guitar because of when I'll have to sing and play the piano. If that day ever comes” he ends bitterly, because as much as he believes in this band he has started, the path is significantly harder than he had expected.

“Hey, none of that” on-screen Colin says, suddenly serious. “I've heard your songs, and you're brilliant. You just need a little push, a little luck, and you'll become phenomenal, mate.”

Colin is his friend, so, like, it's basically his _duty_ to say things like that, but Jared cracks a smile nonetheless. “It's just hard, you know? We can't do anything, can't present ourselves as a proper band, until we find this fourth member. It's frustrating.” 

Colin nods. “I understand that. Are you sure you've been looking in all the right places, though? I mean, seems weird to me that Tomo hasn't found a decent one in all of his school. There are certainly lots of weird looking artsy types in mine, so I can't imagine a school void of them.”

“Excuse me, my young friend,” Jared interrupts him, frowning, “did you just insult me? I'll have you know us artsy types are very cool and not at all weird looking.”

“Jare” he smirks, but it's affectionate, teasing, “your hair is black and red.”

“Magenta!” Jared corrects him, like many other times, because Colin just does the same mistake on purpose, by now, just to rile him up. Sure as the sky above, Colin cackles, his rich laugh filling Jared's ears and tempting him to crack a smile. 

“Magenta, alright, my bad. Still, you have to admit it's not common. You're beautiful, man, but you sure as fuck don't look common.”

And oh, hello, off-hand compliment that makes Jared's cheeks the same colour of his hair. Magenta, that is. Not black. 

Colin will say things like that all the time, and /still/ won't let Jared know if he's into boys as well as girls.

Not that Jared wants to make a move, he's Colin's internet friend and nothing else, but. It'd be nice to know.

 

***

 

They met four years ago, on a website, teaming up against a stranger who was insulting David Bowie. Seriously. Who the hell even. David is a _genious_. 

They had kept talking together on the chat of the website, until Jared had offered to link him his facebook. Talking with Colin had seemed very easy and Jared craved someone to talk to at the time, because he felt so alone, that kind of loneliness you feel not when there's no one around you, but no one who you feel could listen to you, could understand you.

Colin listened to him and, despite being considerably different, definitely showed that he understood him.

Colin was a teenage Irish boy back then, and he would have definitely been very popular at school, but there was a little problem. “Not a problem” Colin would have argued, fierce and angry like a baby lion, because even when the other kids where giving him shit, he never wished for another brother. Another brother that wasn't gay.

The bullies were awful to Eamon, and the first time Jared thought that he loved Colin (as a friend, of course, _a friend_ ) was when Colin had cried in front of him – well, in front of that stupid computer screen.

It had been so heartbreaking to watch; Colin had been incredibly upset because Eamon had come home pale and bruised, again.

“It's not fair,” Colin had sniffled, repeating it again and again, and Jared had felt his heart clenching, knowing in that moment that he cared already so much for that sweet, funny fifteen years old. 

Four years later, and Eamon is still gay; it got better, though, because from their little town he and Colin moved to Dublin, Colin for a better high school and Eamon to dance in a successful studio. 

Needless to say, Jared adores Eamon. He has talked to him a few times (kind of inevitable, much like Colin has talked to Shannon) and the man is incredibly funny, witty and good looking; he and Colin are remarkably similar, and even more remarkably close. It always put a smile on Jared face, to think that both of them are so attached to their brothers. Eamon has even a boyfriend, now, an adorable blonde named Steven, and Colin is now swimming in his last year of high school, a bit confused about what to do next but happy and apparently finally adored by everyone.

Not that the thought doesn't make Jared jealous.

 

***

 

Jared is behind the counter, wiping some glasses, when a young man slides on a stool in front of him. Jared smiles at him a bit tiredly. It's been a long day, and his night shift at the pub seems exceptionally endless. Tomo had said that he would come to keep him company with his girlfriend, but they haven't arrived yet, and Jared is very bored. “Hi,” he says to the customer, “What can I bring you?” 

The guy seems very tired, as well, because he smothers a yawn in the palm of his hand before smiling a bit. “I don't actually know. A good beer, yeah?”

Jared nods and pours some in a pint; “Never seen you around,” he says to make conversation, because well. He's alone, this guy is alone. Might as well.

“That's because I just moved here” the guy says, accepting the pint with a nod. “This very day. I'm knackered, but I felt like going for a walk and actually ended up here.”

“Oh? Where do you come from?”

“It's a little town south of London. Very, very little” he chuckles tiredly, “definitely too little for someone who wants to play music for a living.”

Jared almost loses his grip on the glass he was holding.

 

***

 

“His name is Matt and he's a godsend, really! I almost didn't have to convince him at all, he was so excited!”

Colin laughs, eyes bright. It's evident that he's as happy as Jared about this, and this alone absolutely justifies the fact that Jared had almost called him before Shannon to say that he had found a bassist. 

“ It's _fate_ , Jared,” he whispers excitedly, and Jared wants so much to hug him, it's ridiculous. 

Dublin and London aren't that far, but it's been four years and neither of them still has managed to collect enough money to go see the other. Distance sucks.

“You know, there's this battle of bands at the end of December, and even if there is only a month and a half to go, I think that we could participate!”

“That would really be great,” comments Colin, “There are always talent scouts at this sort of things, aren't they?”

Jared nods enthusiastically, “Exactly! It'd be the day after my birthday, actually. Imagine how wonderful a present it'd be if we won!”

Colin's expression gets incredibly soft, and Jared swallows nervously before his friend even opens his mouth: “It's so good to see you like this, J. Haven't seen you this happy in a while.”

Jared just beams, a little embarassed, joking with a strand of hair. Sometimes Colin will get exceptionally honest, and that wild heart of Jared's will do some wholly unecessary jumps. 

“And I'm very happy you share all of this with me, too.”

Jared scoffs, willing his cheeks to stop reddening without his consent, “Like there is anybody else I'd rather share it with.” 

“Play it cool all you want, I know you love me,” Colin says, teasing him, and oh, for fuck's sake.

Jared, happy as he is, can't help but feel the urge to put his face on his hands, because he just thought about kissing that smirk off Colin's lips.

It's something he tries to smother, but comes to his mind too much for his liking.

 

***

 

“I'm stupidly hangover and if you talk too loudly – and by too loudly I mean your usual tone– I'll hang up on you.”

Jared laughs because of Colin's friendly greeting, “Wow, someone's in a mood!” 

At the other hand of the phone, Colin groans. “What did I just tell you? Don't shout, Jared, for the love of god.”

“Aww, have you got a headache, baby?” Jared coos, not bothering to lower his voice because, well. It's always fun to rile up someone who had too much to drink the previous night. Jared is, admittedly, a little shit, even if he'll play innocent everytime Shannon says it.

“I've been awake for two hours and I still haven't got out of bed” Colin whines “Eamon abandoned me and I'm getting cold, but standing up just to get some clothes is too difficult. I'm gonna die!”

Jared is man enough to admit to himself that the thought of Colin in bed, hangover, naked and gorgeous makes him feel a tingly sensation in the pit of his belly.

He clears his voice, trying to keep the awkwardness out of it: “Man up, Col. How will you find yourself a job if you can't find your own clothes?”

A long and suffering sigh on the other line makes him laugh.

“ You're supposed to be on _my_ side” Colin grumbles, voice rough.

“Oh, but I am,” Jared grins, stretching his arms in front of him. It's a pity that they are speaking on the phone instead of seeing each other, really. “How did last night go, anyway? Good?”

“Fairly good, yeah, I strangely remember almost all of it” Colin pauses, seeming lost in thought. “I think I almost kissed a boy.”

Jared almost chokes on his spit. “Excuse me?”

“I don't even know, alright” Colin groans, “Don't judge me!”

“I'm not judging you, dumbass” Jared replies, heart beating too fast “But what does it mean, I almost kissed a boy?”

“Well, there was this girl, I don't even remember her name, and well, we were drinking together and she was a catch, and then her brother came along, and he was honestly prettier than his sister, and-” 

“Colin, would you mind speaking normally? You're going unnaturally fast” Jared says, a bit shocked and a bit annoyed, because since when does Colin find boys pretty?

He hears the other take a deep breath. “I'm sorry. Anyway, we drank some more, and he was playing with my hair, I think, but then I had to puke. Think he was a bit put off after that.”

“Don't be silly” Jared replies distractedly, thinking that Colin could be sick on his fucking favourite shirt and he'd still want him. 

Colin chuckles on the other line. “I'm relieved. I don't know if I would have wanted my first kiss to a boy with a stranger, even if Eamon says I should have gone for it because he was gorgeous.”

“Wait, was Eamon there? Wasn't it a school party?”

“Yeah, but Steven was somewhere with his parents, and besides, you know Eamon. He's definitely high school material.”

“Definitely,” grins Jared. He's still a bit shaken.

“ He's been telling me to just kiss a boy for ages, by the way. I've told him _once_ that I don't think I'm completely hetero, and now he's restless.”

“Well, I can't blame him” Jared tries to smile, but Colin mumbles “He talks about you every time we approach the topic, too” and Jared's brain kind of shuts down.

“I beg your pardon?” 

“Says that if I wasn't so far from you, and completely out of your league, I could even have a chance with you.” Colin giggles, undoubtedly pressing his face in the pillow, because his next words are muffled: “Yeah, imagine that.”

“ You could have a chance with me,” Jared blurts out without thinking, refraining himself from adding _every chance you want, is yours._

There are some seconds of silence.

“Really?”

Jared swallows. “You're a good friend, and funny, and honestly not bad to look at. Why wouldn't you?”

Colin laughs it off, and, after a few awkward tries to change topic, they hang up.

Jared takes a deep breath. This could change everything.

 

***

 

Jared wakes up the morning of his birthday to the feeling of a body brutally colliding with his.

“What the fuck” he shouts, and from somewhere in the room, he can hear Shannon snickering. “Happy birthday, bro!” he exclaims, while the thing on top of Jared clumsily tries to move away. 

“Ops,” a voice says, and it takes Jared a moment, and then he's frozen. Tomo chooses that moment to open the windows, letting the light fill the room, and Jared can't breathe.

He can't breathe, because there, on his bed, half on top of _him_ , for fuck's sake, is Colin. Young, Irish, gorgeous Colin, who's looking at him with sparkly eyes and a sheepish smile, almost like he is so happy to be there, but is afraid Jared is going to kick him out, or something.

“Col?” he whispers, and he hates that it's said with a trembling voice, but he can't help it. Colin, in the flesh, in front of him.

“Surprise?” Colin tries, and god, it's so good to finally hear his voice like this. Jared pretty much attackes him, pulling him into a fierce hug, hiding his face in the crook of Colin's neck while he tries not to cry.

“You're here,” he says, because he can't believe it.

“I am,” Colin replies, soft, hugging him back just as tightly, “Happy birthday.”

 

***

 

As it turns out, Colin and Shannon had been secretly planning it for weeks, and as much as Jared is too much of a control freak to like surprises, he absolutely loves this one.

Colin is, as he expected, a delight. The phone or skype don't do him justice: if he was beautiful and wonderful there, it's nothing compared to how he makes Jared feel now, now that he can see those eyes and hear that laugh withouth a barrier between them. 

His body is hot as fuck, too.

He also fits in his group of friends without any problem; he comes to band's practice and he's so alive and lovely, dancing around, making silly moves and expressions, and being supportive and honest when they ask his opinion.

Tomo keeps eyeing Jared with a look that says, _I know what you want and I just hope you won't fuck everything up, 'cause this one is a keeper._

Jared knows it all too well.

“It should be weird, shouldn't it?” Colin says, later that night, when both of them are lazily sprawled across Jared's bed, tired but happy. “I mean, we've never seen each other before. But it all seems so normal, you know?”

Jared looks at him and nods. “I just hope you're having a good time, honestly.”

Colin grins. “How couldn't I? I love London and I love you, it couldn't get any better.”

_I love you_ . That's another thing that sounds different, and wonderful, and dangerous. Jared swallows and asks himself when did they get so close, because there are only a few inches between their faces. He should probably say something, before doing something embarassing.

“ _Battle of bands, tomorrow,” is the first thing he can think of, and he pouts a bit, trying not to notice when Colin's eyes find his lips. “I'm a bit nervous, I think.”_

Colin remains silent, so Jared keeps going: “It's just that it is a huge opportunity, you know? I wanted this band for years, and now I finally think that 30 Seconds To Mars could go somewhere. I don't know how I'll feel if we don't make it,” he ends, putting his hands on his face, taking a deep breath.

Soon, there are fingers sliding between his, and a hand is removed from his face, because Colin is holding it. Oh, wow. “You have every right to be nervous,” Colin says, face even closer than before. “But I'm sure it'll all be alright. I've listened to you guys, alright? I know that I've never seen any other band sound so good live, and with such interesting music, too. I'm not an expert, of course, but it's something I would pay money to hear. And even if this time doesn't go as planned, it will still be okay, because you're amazing, okay? You're my favourite person in the world, and you're full of light, and talented in a way that makes me feel worthless and lucky to know you, and this whole talk is really embarassing but-”

He can't finish, because Jared is kissing him.

Jared is finally,  _finally_ kissing him, and Colin makes a soft sound in his troath and, thank god, kisses him back, and. These are probably the best moments of Jared's life, here, kissing his internet friend, his best friend, the person who he's in love with, on the day he turns twenty-three. Where are the fireworks?

Eventually, the kiss ends, and they are left looking at each other with flushed cheeks and wet lips.

“ _I'm sorry,” Jared blurts out, “I shouldn't have done that without asking.”_

Colin's eyes are so bright, and his cheeks get even redder. “It's alright,” he says, “I wouldn't have known how to ask you myself.”

Jared's stomach is suddenly invaded by butterflies. “You wanted it?”

“ _God, Jared,” Colin says with a little laugh, then brings him close, kissing him again. “Everytime I've thought of kissing another boy, these past months, you were the only person I could think about.”_

“ _Oh,” Jared says, a bit stupidly, a bit breathless. “And. Do you like it then? Kissing boys?”_

Colin's lips are a delicious curve, when he smiles like this. “I don't know and I don't care about boys,” he says, “But I think I'd quite like to be kissing you for as long as you'll want me.”

 

***

They absolutely smash it at the battle of bands. They win, and some talent scout buys them a drink and says he'd like to hear more from them.

It's one of the happiest times in Jared's life, because finally everything seems to be heading in the right direction.

It doesn't hurt that Colin stays by his side all night, finally his to kiss, and hug, and love.

 

**Author's Note:**

> :)


End file.
